It is 5am on August 25th, 2017. I made sure to set my alarm extra early because I need to make sure I get the right side of the room. Not right as in correct, but right as in the opposite of left. Everything needs to be perfect. I’ve been waiting for this since as long as I could remember. But, it feels weird now. I’ve been saying I couldn’t wait to move out of the house for years now. Now that it is actually happening, the only thing I want to do is grab my dog, jump right back under my covers, and hide from “adulthood”.

My Story

It would be a lie if I said I enjoyed my first semester of college. I mean, it wasn’t the school itself… but the whole idea of college didn’t really want to work for me.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I’ve been ready for college since middle school. By the end of junior year, I took four different SAT Prep Courses, spent hundreds of dollars on ACT books, and took almost every SAT Subject Test available. I now agree with my friends, teachers, and guidance counselor when they told me I was taking standardized testing to a whole new level and should maybe take it down a notch. (if any of you are reading this…. I really should have taken your advice).

After months of trying to cut down my 3,000 word college essay down to the maximum of 65o words, weeks filling out the common app, and hundreds of dollars spent on applications, I finally finished. On May 1st, I wore my favorite long sleeve shirt- across it read MARIST.

My first few weeks of college were good. Classes were going great, I was getting good grades, and I made lots of friends. I mean, I was still getting lost almost every time I left my dorm and I hated the gross dining hall food, but everything seemed to start to fit together like a puzzle. I knew I picked the right place to receive my education.

However, about six weeks into my freshman year, I began to enter the darkest period of my life. Little did I know that my world would be turned upside down. Every day it was harder and harder to get out of bed. And it wasn’t because I stayed up watching ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ every night or because I developed an unhealthy addiction to online shopping. I realized I wasn’t eating or drinking anything. And it wasn’t because the dining hall food was gross- although it was- but because my body wouldn’t let me take anything down. Trust me, you could have put an entire bowl of Oreo ice-cream (my favorite) in front of me, and I wouldn’t touch it.

It was if day and night switched places. My body automatically assumed that sunlight meant sleep time and darkness meant it was time to get up. I ended up sleeping all throughout the day. I began missing classes